What’s the First Step You Need To Take To Quit Alcohol?
In the beginning there is a mindset shift
If you’re sobercurious and interested in quitting alcohol for a specific time period or forever, you may be wondering how to get started.
The obvious answer is “quit drinking”, but the real answer is more complicated than that, especially if you are dealing with a serious addiction.
Need to: The First Step To Quit Drinking
When I asked this question on TwiX, I was first of all shocked by how many answers I received…over 400! It is my most popular post to date, which is strange to me. Nevertheless, the number one answer that came up over and over again was this:
Admitting you have a problem.
Realizing you have a problem.
Accepting you have a problem.
Acknowledging you have a problem.
Honesty.
While different verbs and wording were used, the idea is the same: You have to know, be aware you have a problem, and admit it. You have to know you NEED to quit. You don’t have to admit it to anyone else but yourself.
It seems pretty obvious: if you don’t know there’s a problem, you can’t fix it.
However, this is probably the hardest step in getting sober. If you’re still trying to make excuses or compare yourself to someone else who’s “way worse” so you can keep drinking, you haven’t reached this stage yet.
Even if other people are telling you there’s a problem, if YOU don’t acknowledge you have a problem, you can’t take the next step and the next step to fix the problem.
We all want easy answers and solutions, but we have to know we need an answer or solution before we seek it out.
This is really difficult to realize for family and friends who are watching someone drink too much and can’t seem to break through to them. There’s literally nothing to do but wait, pray, and hope they’ll open their eyes and see at some point. And establish your own boundaries with that person.
We can’t force other people to change. Real change doesn’t happen that way.
Want to: The Second Step To Quit Drinking
You might be wondering what now? I’ve acknowledged I have a problem. I know I need to quit. Now what do I do?
According to my TwiX fam, the next step is also a mindset issue. (In answer to what’s the first step, these answers came up. But I would argue this is step 2.)
It was presented in these ways:
Surrender.
Want to quit drinking.
Being desperate to quit.
Being sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Brokenness.
The first step could be stated as knowing you NEED to change. The second step is WANTING to change. Or being ready to change.
I can personally attest to this process.
I tried to quit drinking for many years because I knew I NEEDED to. I admitted I had a problem long before I was able to actually quit.
When I finally WANTED to quit, I did. I’ve been sober almost two years now, and it’s been pretty darn easy compared to all the times I tried to quit but didn’t really want to.
What brings us to the “wanting to”?
Every person is different. There may be a rock bottom situation. Maybe a spouse gives an ultimatum or you recognize what your children are seeing in you. Maybe you finally recognize how much better your life will be without booze and you’re ready to live in that reality.
Here’s a hard question: Can you quit drinking if you know you need to but don’t really want to?
I think the answer is yes, but I know from experience it will be much harder. Once you shift to “want to”, and you know why you want to, you have a solid goal to keep in mind and work toward.
If you know you need to, but are struggling with the want to part, can I recommend imagining what your life will be like without alcohol? It may be hard to imagine positive things, but try.
Will your health be better? How specifically?
Will you look better? How specifically?
How will your sleep change?
What will your weekends look like?
Envision your life without alcohol…all the positive things that can happen without it…and then decide if that’s the life you want to live instead of the one you’re currently living.
Get Help: The Third Step To Quit Drinking
Now that your mind is in the right place, how do you actually quit?
Well, the best place to start is to actually quit. This is definitely an obvious one!
I remember only too well the sequence of events leading up to me quitting for good. We had gone on vacation for spring break, and I drank through most of it, but I didn’t want to. I was so ready to quit. I didn’t want to rock the boat with my spouse on our trip, so I kept drinking some, but I couldn’t wait to get home so I could finally quit.
When we got home, I kept drinking for a few days. With jet lag and my body readjusting, I wanted to avoid headaches, etc. Finally I decided on a day 1. And then I quit drinking.
It sounds ridiculous, but just because you want to do something doesn’t mean it will automatically happen. You have to do the thing. I had to physically quit taking sips of alcohol.
Medical warning: This seems like a good place to tell you if you have been drinking heavily for a long time, you will most likely need medical assistance to quit drinking. Whether that’s checking into rehab or having your doctor help you wean off alcohol slowly, make sure you have help. It can be very dangerous to stop cold turkey.
Otherwise, there are a variety of ways to get help during those first few months of quitting. Even though I was desperately ready to quit, I stayed connected to my sober guru (whose emails I had been reading for years), and I started writing about my journey online.
Other ways to have support are:
Go to meetings
Go to rehab
Read Quit Lit
Have a sponsor or sober coach
Join a support group (there are so many now!)
Write about your experience
While steps 1 and 2 are about you and your mindset, step 3 should involve community. It’s the best way to stay sober and move toward that dream life you imagined.
Here’s a link to the TwiX post if you want to look at the other responses or join a really great community of supportive sober people.
To recap, if you’re thinking about giving up alcohol:
Do you know you NEED to quit? Have you admitted it?
Do you WANT to quit? Are you ready to take the next step?
What are you going to do to quit and support yourself?
