Is It Fraudulent To Get a Mocktail if You’re Sober?

Gin and tonic and a tonic with lime look exactly the same

I felt like a fraud.

Hubsy and I meandered around the silent auction with glasses in hand.

He had gin and tonic; I had tonic water with a lime. They looked exactly the same, and I felt guilty.

The beauty of a mocktail is that you can pretend to fit in with all the drinkers. Then they don’t ask so many questions, and you don’t feel quite as left out.

Alcohol-free drinks are slowly becoming more and more popular. There are even mocktail bars opening up. Sober-ism is on the rise.

That’s a beautiful thing.

Then again, what’s the psychology behind pretending to have an alcoholic beverage while actually not?

I’m not against mocktails. I love that this has become a trend, and it’s becoming more and more acceptable to give up the booze. That is a huge win for better health and mental stability.

I’m just wondering what people are thinking when they order a mocktail instead of a simple glass of water or juice.

Is it to fit in?

That seems like an insecurity issue.

Is it so you can still have part of the experience you used to have when drinking?

This could lead to dissatisfaction with the drink because you’re not getting that exciting buzz, leading to you deciding you want something with alcohol. But just one.

As a person who cannot drink, having a pretend drink, or replacement drink, feels frustrating.

My sober guru often recommends having a replacement drink that is always available and ready. Something more on the bitter side to satisfy the sipping element. Tonic water with cranberry juice, for example.

She also recommends placing that drink in a cup or glass that is NOT an alcohol-type glass. No wine glasses. No whiskey glasses.

She uses the word “replacement,” not “pretend” or “mock.”

If your purpose is to quit drinking for the sake of your health, or you drink with moderation and want to get a mocktail because you have an early morning, fine. I see no problem with that.

The problem I see is with people who cannot control their drinking. They’ve quit drinking and are struggling through sober days.

For this person, a mocktail could be dangerous. It could be a pretty little, tasty stumbling block.

As I carried my faux gin and tonic around that room, my awareness was heightened. I wasn’t focused on the vacation packages or artisan jewelry I could bid on. No, I was focused on the drink in my hand, which felt and almost tasted like a real drink.

In fact, I asked my husband if he was sure we’d been given the right drinks.

I was paranoid, and the thought crossed my mind several times about how stupid it was to have a fake drink. Why not just have the real thing?

After that, I stuck with water for the rest of the night and gave my brain a break.

I’ve been sober for over a year now. That was the first social outing where I chose a drink that looked like the real thing.

I didn’t like it. I didn’t like the thoughts it evoked. I didn’t like that people thought I had an alcoholic drink when I didn’t. I’m actually OK with people knowing I don’t drink. I don’t feel ashamed or embarrassed about it. So why would I try to fake people out?

That will be the last time I get a fake drink.

It’s not for me.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this one in the comments.

There’s no judgment here. As we stumble along this sober life, everyone must decide what works for them. Now I know what works for me.

Have you figured out what works for you?