Being Sober Is a Superpower — Learn All the Juicy Secrets at Your Next Corporate Event
Who says having drinks with clients will help your career?
After work drinks. Drinks with clients. A free-flowing bar in the office. Sales conventions. Trade shows.
I see these issues pop up often among the sober-curious.
What if I’m excluded because I don’t drink?
What if I don’t get the job because I didn’t want to get drinks after?
What if they think I’m weak because I passed on the bottle of wine circling the business dinner table?
What about the fundraiser event? The happy hour at conferences? The week-long sales event?
From the outside looking in, it seems like the frat party never stopped. It just dressed up in suits and ties and moved into a conference center.
I’m thankful I didn’t have to navigate the business world while trying to stop drinking. It was hard enough without all that peer pressure and attending event after event where it seemed the main goal was to drink as much as possible without looking like a complete idiot.
I’ve never been part of a corporate culture, but my husband has for 20+ years. I’ve seen it secondhand.
I understand the concerns the sober-curious have about quitting when this is the culture they are part of and are trying to be successful in.
There are landmines everywhere!
And typically ones that can’t always be avoided because it’s work. It’s business. It’s money.
Let me let you in on a little secret though:
Being sober is a superpower.
What about corporate events?
Here’s one myth I’ll go ahead and bust up front. Being sober doesn’t mean you have to be boring. Let’s say you’re at a sales week in Vegas. You have nightly events with the whole team. There’s a lip-sync battle. Happy hours. Mingles and mixers. Etc.
You don’t have to drink at any of these events to have fun.
I survived New Year’s Eve completely sober while I danced and sang karaoke and watched everyone else look stupid. It was a lot of fun to be quite honest. And I felt great the next day. Bonus!
You can still have fun. You can choose to leave early. You can have real conversations with people until they’re all wasted. You won’t accidentally sleep with someone who could ruin your career or slap a lawsuit on you for sexual harassment.
Being sober means you get to choose how the night goes — not alcohol.
Here’s another huge bonus to being sober as a business person.
You will hear all the secrets…and remember them!
Drunk people are not very cautious with their words. There’s no telling what you might learn as you stay sober and listen to the tipsy ones spilling all the office gossip.
Now this may feel a little dirty. I get that. But it’s not your fault you’ve decided to stay alert and they haven’t. You get to reap all the benefits of their bad choices.
Bask in it.
Just promise me you’ll use your superpower for good and not to hurt people. That would not be very nice.
What about drinks with clients?
This is a different scenario than the wild sales convention parties.
You’re meeting clients for drinks…but you’re not going to have a drink. How does that work? What if they’re offended or feel awkward?
Those are possibilities, but there’s a really easy way to solve this. Several ways actually.
Here are some alternatives:
Get a faux drink or mocktail. Try tonic water with lime. Looks like a gin and tonic; tastes refreshing.
Tell them you’re starting with water and then never order a drink. If they keep asking if you want anything, order the faux drink or give an explanation.
Explanations can be super simple and I’d even support a little fib here. Say you’re on a diet, detoxing, have an early morning, only drink on weekends, etc. Keep it short and simple. You don’t have to go into a big story.
If they keep pushing, tell them their a pain in the rear and to leave you alone. Just kidding! If they’re really that obnoxious, and there’s really no other word for it, you may have to say, “I don’t drink.” Again, leave it at that. No life story needed.
In this scenario, drinks with clients, the same sober superpower applies: you stay alert and aware while the others loosen up.
It seems to me that in a business setting, this would be a big benefit. You stay sharp as a tack. Isn’t that the ideal position to be in?
What about drinks with co-workers?
This might be the trickiest scenario.
The point is to let loose a little after work. To connect and bond while you unwind. How can you connect and bond if you’re not doing the same activity: drinking?
The deception is that the bonding takes place because of alcohol.
When really, the bonding takes place over shared stories and experiences…the ones that happen at work you then discuss after work. You can be drinking anything…any liquid substance can be in your glass. The same conversations can happen over a glass of water or a glass of scotch.
You still might feel a little left out, especially if people question you. You might also be done sooner than the others because once everyone starts slurring, it’s not so fun anymore. They’re long gone at that point anyway…I doubt they’ll notice your absence if you want to leave earlier than they do.
What if I’m newly sober? Should I still go to these things?
That’s a really good question that will depend on you and how strong you are in sobriety.
If you were able to moderate but are quitting to be healthier, then you may be fine going to these events while adjusting your own expectations for yourself and others.
If you are struggling with over-drinking, then it might be wise to avoid most or all of these events as much as possible until you are stronger in your sobriety. You want to avoid sticky situations that will tempt you to relapse at all costs.
This could potentially be a huge pitfall for you if you often have work events that revolve around alcohol that can’t be avoided at the risk of hurting your career.
Your sober toolbox will need to be very, very full. You will need to have sober support you can count on and who will be available during these tough situations. You will need to be prepared and not leave anything to chance or hope.
You can do it. It will be hard. But nothing worth having is ever easy.
It’s my hope to break some of the stigma surrounding business drinking. To assume everyone drinks or that they have to drink to broker a deal or connect with co-workers feels kind of ridiculous.
I would love to see a day when people can casually say, “I don’t drink” or “I struggle with drinking too much” and it’s no big deal. People accept it, support it, and move on.
We’re not there yet, but there are glimmers of this happening everywhere. It will take more people who are brave enough to stand up for their right to be healthy and whole without being questioned, excluded, or ridiculed. The more people who are willing to quit drinking and make it normal, well, the more normal it will become.
