Day 12 — Jesus Healed My Addiction To Alcohol…

…and My Cold Toes!

Sober Journey Day 12

The Lord Healed My Cold Toes Last Night!

Some days are good. You feel good about giving up booze. Strong, courageous, like you can conquer the world. Other days are going to feel like pure drudgery. And there will be days that feel like both.

That’s the kind of day I’m having. It started good. Church last night was so good.

Remember how I was having such a bad day yesterday and then remembered it was church night?

Satan was trying to keep me from a miracle.

The wildest and coolest things have been happening at my church lately. God is moving like crazy and so many people are getting healed and saved. Because this is happening often, we’ve been praying for it a lot more often.

Yesterday the temperature dropped super fast. When the weather is cold, my toes and sometimes fingers tend to go numb. This has been going on for years. It’s annoying but nothing I’ve ever had checked out because it’s just a nuisance. Certainly not something I ever considered praying about.

So last night on the way to church, my toes were frozen. Oddly much more than usual. I was super uncomfortable…and annoyed! I cranked the heat in my car but it didn’t help.

All through worship, I was bouncing and moving with the music, but my toes stayed numb and in pain.

After worship, our pastor called people who needed to be healed into the aisles. And then everyone else gathered around to pray for the individual needs.

When the pastor called people into the aisles to be prayed for, it never crossed my mind that I needed prayer. So I went into the aisle to pray for others. After praying, I tried to get back to my seat, but it was blocked by people still praying.

I patiently waited, but as I was waiting, another pastor came up to the platform to pray over everyone. As she was praying, she prayed over specific ailments, and at one point said something like,

“Bad circulation be healed in Jesus’ name.”

I looked down at my toes because that specific phrase stood out to me. And then I felt the slightest, subtlest warmth in my shins. It started to move toward my toes.

I thought, “No way!” And then I thought, “OK, keep moving down and warm my toes up.” And He did. The numbness went completely away and stayed away the rest of the night and hasn’t been back since!!! Isn’t that wild?!

And random! I mean, it wasn’t like I was healed from cancer or a broken bone or something super obvious. But it felt like a nudge from the Holy Spirit — “Hey, I’m here. I care. I’m with you. You matter.” I was blown away…and mostly in shock.

And Then Satan Comes To Steal

So today I was floating into work, worshipping in my head. Hyper aware of my non-numb toes. Filled with awe and wonder.

And then work. It was a doozy. Another day of tension and stress and frustration. By the time I picked up my kids and got home, I felt completely defeated and deflated.

And I’m sure you can guess what my thoughts are revolving around right now.

It’s a good thing we are so busy with the kids’ activities and church and work and life. I’m sure it doesn’t help my tiredness and stress level. But it does keep me moving and occupied enough that I really don’t have time to drink. I literally don’t have a spare second to sit down and enjoy much of anything, much less sip on something for an hour.

But man am I struggling today. I’ll be honest.

And again, just like the struggle before Wednesday night service, I know that satan wants to steal this healing and victory from me. Why wouldn’t he? This is an ugly fight.

Jesus is doing an amazing work in my life. Not only did He heal my toes, but I believe He healed me from my addiction to alcohol.

Even though I have these tough days, and drinking crosses my mind sometimes, it’s nothing like it used to be where I would look at the clock all day long and wonder when it was late enough to drink.

I have friends who have been praying for weeks and months that the Lord would completely take away my desire to drink, and I believe He has. Maybe the numb toes was a way for Him to get my attention so I would pay attention to this more important and significant healing.

I don’t know. Sometimes we don’t get all the answers. All I can say is ask God to heal you from your addiction, and any others you might be facing. He wants to heal you. He loves you. He wants the best for you. He doesn’t want you to struggle, and with His help, you don’t have to.

And when the healing comes, or while you’re waiting for it, don’t let satan steal your joy and your victory…even on the lousy days.

UPDATE 1: It’s now almost two years later as I’m posting this on this site, and I have made it through two winters with no numb toes!

UPDATE 2: March 20, 2024 will be my 2-year soberversary. I know I’ve been healed. The desire to drink has been so minimal. Most of the time I don’t even think about it. It’s nothing like the struggles I had the previous 9 years where every minute felt like a battle and I usually gave in.