Actually, honestly I’m not embarrassed to quit this sober journey. Because I’m human and I’m not perfect and I’m not trying to be perfect. The point is to do what’s right for me… for my body, my mind, my emotions, and my relationship with Jesus.
Some of you will be disappointed in me. I’m not disappointed. Maybe a little frustrated, but not embarrassed or disappointed. Do I wish I hadn’t splashed this all over my blog and social media in an attempt to have some accountability? Yeah, maybe. Oh well. C’est la vie! Maybe my journey and attempt gave you some inspiration you needed. I’m good with that.
This Is Not a Good Time
For me, right now is not a good time to quit drinking or anything else for that matter. It’s not the right time to try to start something new or stop something old. We are in survival mode and we will be out of it soon.
Our friends want to spend time with us to say goodbye, and we want to spend time with them. And I don’t want the constraint of not being able to do this or that hovering over the whole thing.
Also, I cannot get away from noise and I’m kind of losing my mind. Honestly, the alcohol helps me calm down a little. It helps me breathe and relax. And I’m wound up tighter than Shirley Temple’s curls right now.
I’m OK For Now
I drink too much, yes, but I’m not an alcoholic. My family is not suffering from my actions. If anything, they’re benefiting from it at the moment! My liver is not though… so…
Forgive me, I don’t say that lightly. Alcohol destroys lives and families. I’ve seen it firsthand. So please don’t think I’m being flippant about this disease.
Once we are moved and settled, I will try this challenge again and start a new sober journey. I will do it for my health, for the sake of my liver (I think about my poor liver a lot!), and because I want to find other ways to cope with stress. This can’t be the only way, and I know for sure it’s not the best way.
Belle Robertson Usually Knows Best
Belle Robertson, my sober guru, would say there’s no time like the present. And the right time to stop is when you want to start feeling better. Usually I agree with pretty much everything she says! Which is why I tried to start this sober journey a few weeks ago…. Move be damned!
But she also makes so many suggestions about how to succeed that involve staying away from booze and people who are drinking if necessary. Obvious, I know. Right now that is just not possible. OK… possible, yes. Anything is possible.
So let me put it this way. My choice is to not stay away from those people because they are my dear friends who I want to say a proper goodbye to. There are situations right now that I’m not going to avoid because this is the end of something big in my life and it needs a proper farewell. By proper I don’t mean it needs to include alcohol, but typically it does, and I don’t want to spend the evening thinking about NOT drinking instead of fully enjoying my last chance with friends.
Where’s The Detox Clinic?
Tell ya what I would really love, and this may be a bit off topic. Once we’re moved back to the US and settled in, I’d love to go to a facility where I could get everything back on track all at once. Not a rehab, but more like a detox clinic where I could get off of caffeine, sugar, and alcohol all at once. (A sober journey doesn’t have to be only about alcohol.)
A place where I can’t sneak anything or be tempted by anyone around me. Getting started is always half the battle. Staying on track once you have a good start is so much easier.
Anyway. Because I don’t have a “problem” that anyone else can see, that’s not likely to happen. But it sure would be nice!
Let’s Move On
Okay, now that I’ve expressed my “failure” and let everybody down, I feel like I can move on and do what I need to do to get through this move.
Also, I love having really short fingernails! It makes typing a much more pleasant experience. I know you wanted to know that random bit of information. You’re welcome.
Listen, I know I make light of many things because I believe it’s more fun to laugh your way through life. However, alcohol addiction is a serious thing. If you do have a problem, if you are affecting your family in negative ways, get help. Period. Just get help. Don’t wait. Don’t worry about what anyone else is going to think or say. Get help now.