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Sarah Sandidge

Sarah Sandidge

Days 1-7, Sober
/
June 29, 2020

Day 7: Hardest Day Conquered!

day 7 hardest sober day conquered success sobriety quit drinking

A History of my Stomach

What a day! Bleh! A tiny, uninteresting history is probably necessary here. My body does not handle change well. My eatery system (I just made that up) is crap. I’ve always been extremely affected by whatever I put in my mouth and by hot temperatures. (I used to black out and puke any time we went to the beach and I got too hot.) I know. I’m annoying.

I have low blood sugar. Always have. I eat pizza and I can feel the gluten turning to sugar and the sugar in the tomato sauce coursing through my veins. Literally. Potatoes? Forget about it. Two hour nap necessary. 

Here’s a really ironic and annoying one. If I have coffee in the afternoon, I crash hard about an hour later. Coma nap type crash. But then I can’t sleep that night because of the coffee I had that afternoon. It makes no sense and is so stupid and makes me angry on a regular basis. 

Vegan Looked Good on Me

The only time in my life when everything seemed to be acting properly was when I went vegan for about a year. I wasn’t hyper but I wasn’t perpetually tired anymore. I only needed a quick 15 minute rest in the afternoon… more for my brain than my body. I was working out regularly and happily for the first time ever. I slept well… when the kids didn’t interrupt me. I was almost the same weight as when I’d gotten married. My skin was clear. Everything was… flowing. You know what I mean? It was a beautiful time. 

And then I got off track. Some major life changes. That’s when I really started drinking for the first time in my life. And honestly it’s been downhill since then. 

But even before that year, my body was always a mess. I always have to have snacks with me due to the low blood sugar. Once I start crashing, things get ugly. 

Low Blood Sugar is My Personal Hell

Anyway, back to current times. I’ve actually been eating pretty healthy for a while now. I have some changes I need to make, but overall, I eat healthier than a lot of people if we’re just doing a straight out comparison. It was the alcohol that was really knocking my healthiness.

But now that I’ve quit that, my low blood sugar has suddenly reared its ugly head again. I always forget how miserable it is to be shaky and have a sugar crash. Miserable. 

So. I know my body is detoxing from the alcohol and from my late night snacks. I know it’s readjusting and finding a new norm. But it sucks in the process. 

And alcohol isn’t the only health/diet change I need to make. It’s just the first piece of the puzzle and most important. I can’t make the other changes until I make this one. 

So… Day 7

With all that said… here’s how Day 7 went. I felt bloated (WHY???) and miserable pretty much all day. I was super cranky and just wanted to give up. 

Thankfully a neighbor took the kids for the day so we could work on moving stuff, which I did. I accomplished quite a bit, but was angry all day. 

Why haven’t I lost weight? Why do I still feel like shit? Why is my body so “fragile” when it comes to eating? Ugh!

Then, because our friend had the kids, Jay and I went out for dinner. This is the first time the two of us have been out with Sober Sarah. I was already feeling prickly and on edge, and I really enjoy having a drink on our dates. 

I was feeling very, very weak. And thought I’d just give in and start over. A new day 1. We even decided to go to a restaurant called Margarita’s which has, as you can guess, really good margaritas. 

Miracles Lead to Victories

Miraculously, Jay asked me how I had been doing with this whole thing. He doesn’t usually ask things like that. So we talked about it. When we got to the restaurant, I was dying for something. Mainly because I just felt miserable and misery loves company. And tired. I’ve been so tired and alcohol is comforting and puts you in that lovely peaceful, floaty state for a few minutes. I wanted to float. 

Again, miraculously, Jay mentioned that I could get a virgin cocktail. And then he decided he’d get one too. !!!!! I didn’t even have the option of “sneaking” a sip of whatever he was getting. Was someone praying in the middle of the night last night? Cause I’m pretty sure that’s the only explanation for me holding out and for Jay’s actions, which were very abnormal. Did I mention that? 🙂 

Surprisingly, the virgin margarita was delicious and helped me at least feel like I was having a treat even though I didn’t get to “float”. 

More Change to Come

Later that night I had a San Pellegrino. But I’ve decided I’ve got to give those up too. They’re loaded with sugar and I just can’t have that much sugar. It’s killing me. 

I took some melatonin and went to bed around 10pm. Around 4 or 5am I woke up with a splitting headache. Ugh! 

Looks like change #2 is imminent. I’m going to look into my sugar and gluten intake now that I sort of have the alcohol thing under control. 

Even though this post is mostly negative, the fact still remains… I’ve gone an entire week without alcohol. Not even a secret sip. I’m proud of myself and really should’ve gotten myself a treat today to celebrate (I’m writing this on Day 8). But I need to plan ahead for that. And I think I’ll do just that! 

TAGS:100 day sober challengealcohol addictionalcohol voicebeing soberday 7how to stay soberhypoglycemiai choose soberi drink too muchliving soberlow blood sugarno drinkingno more alcoholone week soberreplacement drinksobersober blogsober challengesober lifesober livingsober treatsobrietysobriety blogsobriety counterstaying sobertired of thinking about drinking
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Hi, I’m Sarah Sandidge

Hi, I’m Sarah Sandidge

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